This week we have been learning about stories of mystery and suspense. We listened to a mystery story called 'Staying Out' and found out about ways to create suspense in a story. How much of the story can you remember from the story map?
Task: Use the story map to write the story of 'Staying Out.'
Jakub
ReplyDeleteBack at the end of the garden it got darker and darker as if we where falling into a never ending hole.The moon casted a ereie lite that flashed into our eyes.Stars stood out like tiny silver studs.Then kev closed the flap down and we chatered for a while he had just told me a joke about a dog who wore brown shoes when we first herd it.Then a strange scraching noise came from out side the tent.We froze as still as stone.What on earth could it be?
Then we herd it again something or someone was moveing towards the tent enterance.It was makeing a scraping sound like someones last gasping breath.There was no escape.Terifided we ducked deep into our sleeping bags and waited patiencely. My heart thumped rapidly.Then Kev really suprised me coutiously he puled the zip down!!!Then a rush of cold air flew by we stared out looking.Kevs torch flickered on and stabed the darknes.picking out the intruder like a clawmchine....it was a Hedgehog.
Staying out
ReplyDeleteDown at the end of the garden,it was growing darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit.Stars like tiny silver studs came out.The moon cast an eerie silver shadow over The garden,as it grew colder.
Kevin zipped up the tent flap as we chatted for a while.He had just told me a joke about a man with his dog that wore brown shoes,when we first heard it.A strange scratching noise coming from just outside the tent.We froze.What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again.Something or somebody was moving along the side of the tent towards the entrance.It was making a scraping noise like somebody's last rasping breath!There was no escape.
Then Kev really surprised me!Cautiously,he pulled the tent flap DOWN!There was a sudden rush of cold air as we stared out.Kev's torch light flickered as it stabbed the darkness.picking out the intruder like a spotlight!It was a..........HEDGEHOG!Taking one look at us with its black,button eyes it went away like a flat waddling hairbrush!
Kev zipped up the tent and we chatted for a while. He had just told me a joke about a man and a dog that wore brown shoes. When we first heard it, a strange scratching noise came from just outside the tent. We froze. What on Earth was it?
ReplyDeleteThen we heard it again.
Something or someone was moving along the side towards the enterence. It was making a scraping noise like someones last grasping breath. There was no escape.
Terrfied, both of us ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and waited. Then Kev really suprised me. Cautiously he reached up and pulled the flap down. There was a sudden rush of cold air and we staired. Kev switched on his torch. The beam stabed the darkness picking out the intruder like a spotlight.
It was a...... hedgehog.
Down in the garden,it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit. Stars came out like tiny silver studs. The moon cast an eerie silver light over the garden as it grew colder.
ReplyDeleteKev zipped up the tent flap and we chatted for a while. He had just told me a joke about a man with his dog that wore brown shoes when we first heard it. A strange scratching noise coming from outside the tent. We froze. What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was coming from alongside the tent towards the entrance. It was making a scraping noise like somebody's last rasping breath. There was no escape.
Frightened, we both ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and we waited. My heart thumped.
Then Kev surprised me. Cautiously, he zipped the tent flap down. A sudden rush of wind blew into the tent and we stared. His torch flickered on and the beam stabbed the darkness picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was a ... hedgehog!!!
Staying Out
ReplyDeleteDown at the end of the garden, it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit. The stars came out like tiny silver studs. The moon cast an eerie silver light the garden as we shivered.
Kevin zipped up the tent and we chatted for a while. He had just told me a joke about a man and a dog wearing brown shoes when we first heard it. A strange scratching noise was outside the tent. We froze. What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was moving along the side of the tent towards the entrance. It was making a scraping sound like somebody’s last rasping breath. There was no escape.
Terrified, we both ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and waited. My heart thumped. Then Kevin really surprised me. Cautiously, he reached out and pulled the flap down. There was a sudden rush of air. The torch flickered as it stabbed the darkness, picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was … a HEDGEHOG!
Down at the garden where we were it was getting darker and darker.As if we were sinking in to a deep pit.The moon cast an eerie shadow.
ReplyDeleteKev zipped the tent flap down and we chatted for a while.He had just tolled me a joke about a man and his dog that wear brown shoes when we first heard it.A strong scratching noise come from out side the tent.We froze.What an earth could it be?
Then we heard it again .Something or some body was moving out side the tent towards the entrance. It was macing a scratching noises like some body last grasping breath. Our teeth chattered. We hid in our slipping bags and waited.
Then Kev really surprised me. Nervously he grabbed the zip and pulled the tent flap down.The touch stabbed the darkness piking out the intruder. It was a... hedgehog.
Staying out!
ReplyDeleteDown at the end of the garden where we were, it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit. Stars came out like tiny silver studs. The moon cast an eerie, silver light as it grew colder and colder.
Kevin zipped up the tent flap and we chatted for a while. Kevin had just told me a joke, about a man and his dog who wore brown shoes when we first heard it. A strange scratching noise was coming from outside the tent. We froze! What on Earth could it be?
Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was crawling along the side of the tent and towards the entrance. It was making a scraping noise as a person’s last rasping breath! There was no escape.
We looked out into the darkness staring, as we ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and waited. My heart thumped!
Then, Kevin really surprised me. Cautiously, Kevin reached out and pulled the flap down. A sudden rush of cold air came. Kevin’s torch flickered and stabbed the darkness, picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was a … Hedgehog!
Down at the end of the garden it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking in a deep pit. Stars appeared like tiny silver studs and the moon cast an eerie light over the garden as it grew colder. Kevin looked at his house, every room was lit up with lights glowing like yellow pumpkins. Already the sun had dipped over the horizon and the shadows were growing longer and longer.
ReplyDeleteKevin zipped up the tent flap & we chatted for a wile. Kevin had just told me a joke about a man and his dog who wore brown shoes wen we first heard it. A strange sound came from outside the tent. We froze! What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again.Something or somebody was walking towards the entrance.It was making a scraping sound like someones last rasping breath.There was no escape.
Both terrified we ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and waited.My heart thumped.Then Kevin realy surprised me.Cautiously Kev reached to the tent flap and pulled it down.A burst of wind rushed in stabbing the darkness and piking out the intuder like a spotlight.It was...a hedgehog!
STAYING OUT:Down at the end of the garden it became darker and darker as if we sank to the very bottom of a deep pit.
ReplyDeleteStars shined like tiny, little silver studs. The moon casted an eerie, silver light over the garden. Kev zipped up the tent. He had just told me a joke about a man and a dog wearing brown shoes when we first heard it. A strange scratching sound came from outside the tent. We froze. What on Earth could it be? Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was walking along the side of the tents entrance. It was making a scraping noise like someone's last rasping breath. There was no escape. Our teeth chattered. Both of us ducked deep into our sleeping bags and waited. My heart thumped. Then Ken surprised me. Cautiously, he got the tent zip and pulled it down. A rush of wind came to the tent and we stared. The torch flickered. A dagger stabbed the darkness, picking out the intruder like a spot light. It was a....hedgehog!!!
Down in the end of the garden,it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit.Stars came out like tiny sliver studs.The moon cast an eerie light across the garden as it got colder.
ReplyDeleteKev zipped up the tent and we chatted for a while.He just told me a joke about a man had a dog which was wearing brown shoes.When we first heard it ,there was a strange straching noise coming from outside the tent.We froze!What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again.Something or somebody was walking along the side of the entrance.It was making a scraping noise like somebody last rasping breathe.There was no escape.We both duck down deep into our sleeping bag and waited.My heart thumbed.
Then Kev surprised me.Cautiously he picked his hand out and put the tent flat down.There was cold wind rush of air.Kev's light flickered.It beamed stabbed like a spot light picking out the intruder.It was a...hedgehog!
Down in the garden it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking in a deep pit. Stars came out like tiny silver studs, the moon cast an eerie silver light over the garden.It was getting colder Kev zipped up the tents flap and we chatted for a while.He has just told me about a man and a dog that that ore shoes.A strange scratching noise just came from outside the tent we froze what on earth could it be? then we heard it again something or somebody was walking along the side to the entrance.It was making a scrapping noise like somebody's last rasping death.There was no escape we both ducked down into our sleeping bags, we waited for a while my heart thumped then Kev really surprised me cautiously he lifted the tent flap and pulled it down a rush of wind came past us we stared outside Kevs torch was still flickering it was like a stab in the dark picking out the intruder like a spot light it was.. a hedgehog!
ReplyDeleteRuhan
ReplyDeleteDown at the end of the garden, it got darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit. Stars came out as tiny silver studs. The moon cast an eerie silver light in the garden as it got colder! Kev, zipped up the tent flap and we chatted for a while, he just told me a joke about a man and his dog who wore brown shoes when we first heard it. A strange scratching noise was coming from outside the tent. We froze. What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was moving along the side of the tent towards the entrance. It was making a scraping noise like somebody's last RASPING BREATH. There was no escape.
Terrified, we both ducked down deep into our sleeping bags and waited. Then Kev surprised me, cautiously he reached out his hand and pulled the tent flat DOWN! There was a sudden rush of cold air and we starred. Kev's light flickered on and the moon stabbed the darkness picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was a ...HEDGEHOG.
“Please can I and Fillip go camping out in the garden mum” begged Aveer, “okay but be good”. Aveer and Fillip jumped with gladness then sped upstairs to get dads tent, with a swoosh both boys ran out the back door as fast as lighting.
ReplyDeleteLater in the night Fillip and Ameer started getting ready for bed in the tent, then suddenly they heard a faint squeaking sound slowly getting louder and louder, scratching sharply along the sides of the tent “what is that said Filip in a soft quite voice”.
As Aveer slowly unzipped the tent, a rush of cold air swept in. Both boys popped their heads out, only to see a small fluffy ball moving along the bushes “what could that be? said Fillip. As the moon shined the boys could see a pointy prickly animal looking at them with small beaded eyes, they gasped frozen with fright. But as they shone the torch to their surprise was just a little hedgehog staring inside.
Jakub
ReplyDeletestaying out
Kev's mum eyed us both "Ok but no fooling around kevin,"
We slid outside takeing my dads sleepingbag.
Four hours later we where snugled into our sleepingbags kev clossed the tent zip and we chated for a while. He had just told me a joke about a man and his dog who wore brown shoes when we first herd it.Then a strange scraching sound came from outside.We froze.What on earth could it be?
Then we heard it again.Something or somebody was walking to the enterance.It was makeing a screaching sound like someones last breathe.There was no escape!!terified we ducked down deep into our sleepingbags.We waited my heart thumped cautiously kev opened the tent flap his torch flashed on and stabed the darkness picking out the introoder like a clawmachine.It was...a hedhog.
Deep into the garden, it was getting darker and darker as if we where sinking into a deep pit. Stars came out like tinny silver studs, and the moon cast an eary light as it grew colder.
ReplyDeleteKevin zipped up the tente and we chated for a while. He had just told me a joke about a man and his dog that wore brown shoes. When we first heard it, a strange scratching noise from outside. We froze! What on earth could it be??
Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was going toward the entrance. It was making a screeching noise like somebody has lost gasping breath, there was no escape. We both ducked deep into our sleeping bags and waited my heart thumped.
After that, Kevin really surprised me cautiously. Kev zipped up the tente and we stared picking out a intrudar like a spot light. It was a....... Hechog!!!
By habib
kev's mum eyed us both.'ok, but no fooling around,she muttered,as she
ReplyDeleteturned up the TV.It was neighbours and for the next half our totall silence would be demanded. Lugging my dad’s tent between us, Kev and I sneaked out of the back door. At long last, we had permission to spend the night camping out, even if it was only at the bottom of Kev’s garden.
Once there lived two boys called Ash and Andrew they were neighbour s ,one day Ash was begging his mom if they could go camping:” Oh, alraight but no fooling around” exclaimed Ash s mom , they had red cheeks as red as ruby and a cringe smile ear to ear .Off they dashed.
ReplyDeleteAs they were approaching the mountain, the evening grew darker and darker. Suddenly they heard a strange sound as loud as it could break your eardrums! They froze. They were so scared that even their teeth chattered.
Their cheeks were whipped by the strong cold wind that started. It was starting to get colder and rainy. “We have to get at the top mountain before it gets worse” said Andrew in a terrified voice. Were they safe for now?...
It seemed the weather had changed to worse as if a ghost was around...A shadow showed up and it was getting bigger and bigger, closer and closer ..It looked like it had sharp teeth as sharp as knifes...It was so scary...
A gigantic torso and two big slimy fat legs it was a.........pocket sized fluffy white cute mouse!!! :-) It sprang out of the bushes and disappeared. This experience gave the boys shivers down the spine. ..an evening that they will not forget so easily.
As they got home they’re mums asked them if all went well... and they said it was great.�� While looking at each other ..Shaking their heads as if they wanted to erase a bad memory.
Down on the end of the garden where we where,it was getting darker and darker like we where sinking into a deep pit. Stars came out like tiny silver studs,the moon cast an eerie silver light on the garden as it was getting colder and colder. Kev zipped up the tent flap and we chatted for a while.He had just told me a funny joke about a man and his dog that wore brown shoes.When we first heard it . A strange scratching noise coming just outside the tent.We froze.What on earth could it be? Then we heard it again something or somebody was moving along the side of the tent towards the entrance. It was making a scraping noise like somebody's last rasping breath. There was no escape. All we could do was lie there waiting. Terrified, both of us duck down deep into are sleeping bags and waited. My heart thumped. Then Kev really surprised. Cautiously,he reached out and pulled the tent flap down. There was a sudden rush of cold air We stared out. His torch flickered on. Its beam stabbed the darkness,picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was a ..... hedgehog!
ReplyDeleteDown in the garden it was getting darker and darker as if we were sinking into a deep pit. Tiny silver studs appeared and the moon cast an eerie light as it got colder. Kevin zipped up the tent flap and we chatted for a while, he just told me a funny joke about a man whose dog was wearing brown shoes, when we first heard it. A strange scratching noise came from outside the tent. We froze. What on earth could it be? Then we heard it again. Something or somebody was moving towards the tent's entrance. It was making a strange scraping noise like somebody's last gasping breath! THERE WAS NO ESCAPE!! Our teeth chattered as we both dug deep into our sleeping bags. We waited. My heart thumped! Then Kevin really surprised me! Cautiously Kevin unzipped the tent flap. There was a sudden rush of cold air. Kevin's flashlight flickered as the beam stabbed the darkness picking out the intruder like a spotlight. It was...a hedgehog!
ReplyDeleteDown in the end of the garden it was getting darker and darker, the moon cast an eerie light and tiny silver studs appeareared.Kev's legs tremmbeld in fear.His teeth chattred.He could see the dark shadows approching the tent.Kev decided to be brave and go outside into the darkness.Outside was a... cute furry hedghoge!!!
ReplyDeleteStaying out
ReplyDeleteDown the garden it was getting dark and darker as if we were sinking into a deep dark pit.Stars came out like tiny silver studs and the moon cats a eerie light on the garden surface as it got colder and colder.Kev zipped up the tent flap and chatted for a while he had just told me a joke about a man and his dog ho wore brown boots when we first heard it we heard a scratching noise
what on earth could it be?Then we heard it again we froze something or somebody were shuffling along the side of the tent towards the entrance.It was making a strange scraping noise like someones last grasping breath!THERE WAS NO ESCAPE!!We tucked into our
sleeping bags and waited.The Kev surprised me he pulled down the tent flap a huge rush of wind was let into the tent.The torchlight picked out the intruder like a spotlight it was...a hedgehog!!
kevs mum eyed us both. I was a hedchog!There ws no escape.down in the garden it was getting darker and darker.
ReplyDelete